


A Spark

by kjavdekar



Category: The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Anchors, Barry Isn't the Flash, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hero of Time, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-05 05:06:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6690877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjavdekar/pseuds/kjavdekar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Barry Becomes The Flash....AGAIN</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Darkness

Moments had passed as he fell to his knees unable to move. He shifted his weight so he fell backwards onto the treadmill, burying his face in his hands. Heat and anguish fueled his body as he tried to recall the trivial moments of the last thirty minutes. The thirty minutes that would change his life played over and over in his head;

 

_With a heavy heart he stepped on the treadmill for the last time. Gathering up what little will he had left and ran. He ran as fast as he could, heart pounding, feet quick as light, feeling the vibration of the molecules, savoring every minute, every ache, drop of sweat, beat of heart and emotion he could feel, because soon that feeling would be gone, along with his ability. But he tried not to think about it, he had done the right thing. So he continued to run as the speed force escaped him, every step draining him of his passion into the vile on the other side of the glass, but he couldn’t stop. He had traded his speed for Wally’s life. His eyes were welling with tears as his heart rate grew slower, depleting his body of the speed force that remained, his breath finally steading back to normal human pace, until he felt no more. Zoom had won. Barry Allen was no longer The Flash._

_\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

Barry woke with the sun blazing through the curtains, he rubbed his eyes to adjust and turned to his side table to check his phone. It was almost 7 on Monday morning when he pulled the covers off, planting his feet on the cold hardwood floor. You would think a month without his speed would be enough to get used to the lack of heat in his body, but he shuddered every time. He got up slowly as he dragged his body to the bathroom to brush his teeth and shower. Activities that had once taken just seconds now required 15 minutes of his morning, causing him to groan in annoyance. He made his way downstairs to find Iris and Wally sitting at the table having breakfast. 

 

“Morning Bear” Iris smiled enthusiastically 

 

“Morning Iris.” he smiled proceeding to nod at Wally 

 

“Did you want chocolate chip pancakes and strawberries?” she asked 

 

“Sounds good” he answered trying to sound as happy as possible. It was rare to find Barry in a good mood lately, not having his speed was taking its toll. Not just in his daily activities but being a CSI and not being able to stop crime was wearing on his mind. He wasn’t sure how much more he could take. 

 

Iris whipped him up a plate as Wally got ready to head to school. Iris finished her food and looked up at Barry. 

 

“Everything okay Bear?” she asked knowing fully aware that it wasn’t 

 

“Everything’s great Iris,” 

 

She took a deep breath. “C’mon Barry, I’m not Wally you can’t smile your problems away with me.” 

 

He let out a sigh, he couldn’t lie to Iris no matter how much he tried to keep it in because she knew him. “I hate this. He began. I wake up every day and feel completely useless, it takes me 10 minutes to read a single case! I have to walk or bus everywhere, and wait in lines. He groaned. But worst of all, I used to save multiple people a day Iris, now I can’t even save my coffee cup from falling off my desk.” 

 

“Barry, you can’t think like that. She consoled. So you have to be a regular guy for a while, that doesn’t make you any different. Besides isn’t the STAR labs team working on a way to get your speed back?”

 

He shrugged. What was the point he thought. Zoom would find a way through the breach again and take his speed, leaving him to feel powerless and defeated like he has the past 30 days. 

 

“Why? So everyone can have hope again and then see it ripped away? This is killing me Iris. I used to be someone people could count on. I don’t even know who I am anymore. “

 

Iris pushed her plate aside. "Do you remember Liam?" 

 

He nodded smiling a bit. 

 

Liam was in our 6th grade class. Short, nerdy and super scrawny. He had spent the majority of his 6th grade year getting bullied. Pushed aside, picked last for gym, and spent part of every day in a locker at some point. But one day Tony Woodward made the mistake of teasing Liam in front of Barry. “Do you remember what you did Bear?" 

 

"I shoved Tony into the water fountain." He smiled 

 

"Yeah you did, and that was the first day Liam wasn’t shoved in a locker.  But then Tony kicked your ass too." 

 

Barry laughed, I had a bruise on my arm for a week he chuckled.

 

"But you saved him that day. You stood up for a guy you barely knew because you knew what Tony was doing wasn't right. And that Barry, that is a hero." She smiled 

 

"You didn't need speed to be a hero that day Barry, and you don't need it to be one now. Iris took Barry’s hand; “Listen to me Barry, there is nothing wrong with you. Regular you. Don’t you think even for a second that because you don’t have your speed that you are anything less than amazing. You’re my best friend, and speed or no speed you will find a way to make a difference.”

 

Barry couldn’t help but smile his first real smile in over a month. 

 

It was nearly a quarter till 8 when Barry ran upstairs to gather his things for work, “ready Iris?” “Ready” she called slipping into her black strap pumps and coat. 

 

Fifteen minutes later he walked her to the door of Picture News and gave her a quick hug before taking the bus to CCPD. When he arrived at his lab he saw 10 case files stacked on his desk. So much for an early day he thought. He pulled out his pen to highlight the important aspects of each case as he read them one by one. 

 

He absentmindedly turned the pages of each case as his mind tried to focus on the evidence when he heard the radio; 

 

_“We have a code 211 in progress. I repeat code 211; All units be advised suspect is holding hostages at gunpoint.”_

 

Barry immediately went into a fit of rage, throwing case files to the ground, screaming in agony. 

 

“You okay son?” called Joe’s voice from behind

 

“No, I’m not. I hear the people of CC in danger every day and I can’t do anything about it. I have to sit here on sidelines like a regular old Joe. Would you be okay?”

 

“Look Bear I know this has been hard for you, more than anyone else. But I promise you we will find a way to get your speed back. I won’t let myself be the reason you’re miserable.”

 

Barry looked up in surprise. “You think this is your fault?” 

 

“Of course. You did this for me Barry. I never asked you, sure, but you knew it would hurt me to lose Wally”

 

“That was my choice. You can’t blame yourself Joe. I made the decision to give up my speed, I had no choice, Wally is family and I don’t regret it. he smiled. But now I have to suffer the consequences.”

 

Joe took a deep breath, “No Bear, we all do. When are you going to realize that we are all in this together?”

 

Barry shrugged. As much as he appreciated his team, he was the one who lost his speed. Not them, he was the one having nightmares. Nightmares that they couldn’t even imagine. One that kept him up almost every night. He shuddered at the thought but his mind wouldn't let him forget; 

           _Barry walked in from a long day of mindless busy work in the lab. Cases he had closed but never finished writing up. The endless bus ride filled with chit chatty people discussing their mundane lives. One lady had even proceeded to ask him his entire life story in the span of 10 minutes, he engaged politely but had no interest in talking about his life. At least not the one he had now. A life without his speed._

_He hung up his coat and his briefcase. At this point nothing seemed out the ordinary. He hung his hands on the beams as he leaned forward calling out for Iris. "Hey, anyone home?" No one answered. He checked his watch now showing a quarter past 7 and called again. Still no answer, as he started to walk into the kitchen he saw Iris's wrist peeking out from the counter, he walked in caution only to cling to the counter top as he crumbled to the floor. Iris wasn't moving. Hair covered her face as she lay still, blood began to form under her. He inched his way towards her to feel her pulse but there was none. "Iris?" He shook her gently as his eyes flooded with tears. "Iris? Oh my god, Iris please wake up. Tell me this is just a prank!" "Iris!" He shouted but she didn't budge. But he was paralyzed, he couldn't move or think, even cry. Rage grew in Barry's eyes, Zoom had killed her. Iris. The only thing he looked forward to every morning was her, and now she was gone._

 

_As he began to cry he heard a voice calling him back. “Bear?” He was dumfounded, he could see Iris lying in front of him, how was she talking? “Barry?”_

 

“Iris!” he grabbed snapping out of his hallucination 

 

“Hey Bear!” she giggled. “Everything alright?” she asked as she rubbed his back. “You seem relieved” 

 

“Just happy to see you, that’s all” 

 

“Ready for our lunch date?” she asked 

 

Barry grabbed his coat off the back of his chair and put out his arm. “After you Ms. West”

\- - - - - - - - - - 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Lunch Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry tells Iris about his dream and his fears

Iris stepped into the elevator followed by Barry. 

“Where do want to go for lunch?” 

“Anywhere is fine Bear, not really craving anything.”

“How about 8th street Bistro?”

“Sure! Sounds perfect”

Being only a few blocks away they decided to walk. Iris could feel the tension in Barry’s body when they linked arms but she figured she’d wait till they got to the restaurant. Twenty minutes later they arrived and waited to be seated. They asked for a table near the back so they could talk without reservation. 

“How was your morning?” she asked nudging his arm sitting adjacent to him

Barry didn’t want to tell her but he knew she would sense something was wrong. “It was rough” he admitted. “I’ve been having nightmares.”

“About what?”

“You” he started slowly 

“Oh. What about me?”

“That I found you on the kitchen floor…Zoom had um…” he trailed off looking down

Iris rubbed his hand “its okay Bear, I’m right here” 

Barry was about to continue when the waiter came by. “You guys ready to order or did you need a few minutes?” he asked quietly sensing they were in a heavy conversation 

“I’ll have the Chicken Caprese Salad, dressing on the side please” Iris smiled 

“I’ll take the Bacon Cheeseburger” he smiled 

_Coming right up he smiled_

“So tell me about this dream.” She blurted out as soon as the waiter stepped away 

Barry paused for a moment not knowing where to begin. He feared if he shared it would come true, and he couldn’t let that happen. “It’s nothing Iris, really.” he assured 

“Stop it” Iris scolded softly 

“What?” he said looking up into her eyes like a sad puppy

“You know what! You can’t shut me out Barry. Please. I don’t know why you keep things to yourself, you think you are burdening us by sharing but really your burdening yourself. I hate seeing you like this, but you won’t share with me. I am your _BEST FRIEND_ Barry, I’m here for you, no matter what. Good or bad, no matter how you think it will make me feel!”

“That’s not fair Iris. How can I tell you something that would hurt you?” 

Iris looked up puzzled. “Hurt me?” 

Barry bit his lip. Iris wasn’t going to let this go. “Zoom killed you.” he whispered breaking his silence. “He killed you when I wasn’t home and I had to come home to find you bleeding out on the kitchen floor.” 

Iris gasped “Oh. Barry I…I’m so sorry”

“You know the worst part Iris?”

They both paused for a minute when the waiter brought out their food. “Would you like some parmesan on your salad ma’am?” 

“No I’m okay. Thank you.” 

“Enjoy!” 

As the waiter walked away Iris whispered “you were saying?” 

“The worst part is that Zoom could do this anytime he wanted. He could do it right in front of me and I couldn’t even save you. Barry grew restless at the thought of Zoom hurting Iris and began to fidget with his hands. God, I probably can’t even punch him without him cracking my ribs or something.”

Iris peeked up at Barry, tears streaming down her face as she took Barry’s hand in hers 

“We will find a way to get your speed back Bear. I promise you, you won’t see that happen. I won’t let you watch me die. I know how much it hurts. Trust me.” she cried rubbing her hand against his cheek 

“How can you promise me that Iris? Do you have any idea how vulnerable I feel? Zoom could walk in right now and I would be helpless. I don’t even have a damn gun to protect you! And he could kill you. I can’t watch you die Iris, if you died I…” Barry paused as his eyes filled with tears and his heart grew heavy 

“I know Bear, I know.” she sympathized 

“Iris…if you died, I could never become _The Flash_ again.” he admitted breaking down 

“What? Why? What do you mean?”

Barry took a deep breath and pulled Iris’s hand to his heart… “What do I mean? Do you have any idea how much you are a part of me?”

Iris stayed silent but she couldn’t help but grin 

“Do you remember that day when I came to Jitters after I got out of the coma?”

“Of course, I was so relieved!”

Barry smiled “That day when you touched my heart I felt the world slow down Iris. I saw that waitress drop the tray in slow motion before it crashed to the ground.”

Iris remembered that moment very well, but she had no idea she was the reason. 

“You activated my speed.” Iris smiled. “You helped me break the sound barrier when I protected you from Tony. I survived mind control from a giant gorilla because I heard your voice. Your voice Iris. Just yours. You’re in everything I do, every thought in my mind, is you Iris. No matter how much pain I’m in, or how weak I feel, knowing that I’ll see you again is what keeps me going. It always has Iris, and I can’t live without you.”

She sat across from him in complete awe.

“And when I traveled back in time to save my mom, I couldn’t do it. Not because I didn’t want my family together, but because my life Iris, this life with you, is all I’ll ever need.”

Iris got up and stood in between his legs. “Barry, look at me.” She asked pulling his face up to hers wiping his tears away. Barry resisted at first but couldn’t help but comply. “I don’t know how Barry but I won’t let that happen. We will figure it out because I…I can’t survive without you either.” 

Barry took a moment to himself to smile, but the moment was cut short by Cisco's call. A call that would change everything.

..........


End file.
